learn to hurt

i was hope
puddling in the bottom
of a bucket
now dry
i was smiling eyes
pasted on crooked
gazing upward
above all
i was a heart with no direction
until now
god please help me
i am pointed in the wrong direction
but i cannot change it
i am headed for pain, forever
something i cannot avoid
i would give my life
to make it all better
but i know
no better would it be
i am not strong
i would break if i let go
and inside a note:
' i loved, and i failed'
how can the one thing
you're certain of
be wrong?
how could the heart ever lie?
how do you learn to hurt?