the sad one

this is the sad one
the one where i pour my heart out
in little pieces
and make the paper
wish it was being used
for a grocery list instead
the one where i express my pain
over loss, or perceived loss
but offer no thoughts
on how to heal
the one wear i say im all alone
even though, somewhere in me
i know im not
im surrounded by love
and i ignore it
at every turn, im shown
how wonderful i am
and i deny it with every breath
this isnt the one
where i turn around and accept it all
this is the sad one
but with hope
maybe the last one

magnified

from every position imaginable
i shout these lines
to the sky
i say i am important
but i dont feel it
to the ground
am i who ive always been?
i torture myself
for no reason
i see the pain
reflect from me
to others
and it is magnified
my heart tears
but only in small places
i will heal
and i will love....
me
one day soon
this will not go unread
these words will not fail
just as i will not fail me

the girls

i surround myself with beauty
because i have none
but that is wrong
it is in me
waiting for all to see
with the right eyes
the girls bring it out
and cover it up
like sand and shells
without them i am....
still here, but lost
they are everything
and they will never know
my heart
in
a
rhyming pattern
that never made sense in the first place
the beats
sound like the girls
calling my name
i am here
take me, forever
and never give me back

start

this is the start
the beginning of my life in ink
me on paper
words that consume my mind
nesting behind my eyes
i will never stop
(a promise to myself)
i write
and then some more
and when i die
my ghost will dictate
to a promising new soldier
in the war of words
arise writer
chant the words of chuck b.
march through the halls
and burn it all
stomp your prose
into the ground
and scorch the sky
with poem after poem
and when i am done
i am never done
this is the start
that will never find its end